When LeBron James announced “The Decision” in July 2010, nearly 10 million people tuned in to ESPN — a huge number (even back then) for non-NFL programming. At the time, with the NFL regular season still months away, it was the third-most-watched cable TV program of the year, behind only the NFL’s Pro Bowl and an episode of Nickelodeon’s iCarly. (Freddie broke up with Carly because of stupid Sam. It was a whole thing.)

So when it came time for “The Second Decision,” which James teased on Monday, the world held its collective breath. Just kidding, we all immediately knew it would be an ad and were completely turned off. How? Because they always are. What the ad would be for, however, caught many of us off guard.

As the editor who interviewed James this past July tied (in part) to his Amazon Prime Day ad, I was instant early money on this being another one of those. Amazon Prime Day might as well be a holiday in my house, so I was well aware of what was coming (a giant credit card bill, courtesy of my wife) on Tuesday, Oct. 7, the same date as “The Second Decision.” The rest of the internet caught the same coincidence.

But I was wrong — not about the credit card bill — James crossed us all over with this one.

On Monday, James teased via X “The Second Decision” would come out Tuesday at noon ET. A 10-second video of James walking to an open interview chair at the free throw line of a basketball court accompanied the tweet. James sits down across from another guy, some dude no one knows. He’s no Jim Gray.

And that’s all that happens. Speculation that James would announce he was retiring after the coming season was enough to send ticket prices for the final 2025-26 Los Angeles Lakers home game to the moon. And now some people have hugely expensive tickets to see … the Utah Jazz.

James will turn 41 this year. He has said, including to me, that he will likely not be an active player when the Summer Olympics come to L.A. in 2028.

The conversation played out on time on Tuesday in a one-minute video.

“Well, everyone’s on pins and needles across the country — you ready to go, LeBron?” not-Jim Gray says.

James, wearing a similar outfit as the last time, nods.

“Where’s the powder?” not-Gray asks.

“Left it at home,” James replies.

Both are direct lines from the original special — there was a lot more of that.

“Fans want to know where you’re taking your talents this year,” the man says. “What’s your decision?”

“In this fall — man, this is tough,” James says. “In this fall, I’m gonna be taking my talents to Hennessey VSOP.”

Whatever that means.

Fooled us! Sort of. It was still an ad, of course, but a liquor ad. It was still transparent and not funny and roughly as obnoxious as the first “Decision” was, but whatever, mix it with some ginger ale and this whole thing will go down a bit smoother.

In the original ESPN special, James announced he’s “taking [his] talents to South Beach,” meaning he’s joining the Miami Heat alongside fellow free agent Chris Bosh and established Heat superstar Dwayne Wade. They were the original “Big Three,” paving the path for a trio of all-stars to share a starting five. It probably ruined the game as much as anything did or could before the NBA became a glorified three-point shooting contest.

James received a lot of criticism for the decision (“Michael Jordan would have never!”) and even more so for announcing it in a primetime TV special.

“The Second Decision” came again at a time when the basketball world awaits an answer from James about his playing future. With one year left on his deal with the Los Angeles Lakers, James has been cagey — arguably coy — over his future plans. Less cynical (read: more gullible) people actually thought this would be about that. And ruin a chance at another endorsement? Please.

LeBron is on the clock. The NBA tips off on Oct. 21, and the Lakers would very much like a “decision” before the end of the season (especially with James’ son Bronny James currently occupying a roster slot). At the very least, they could use a drink.