I work as a writer. So naturally I’m resentful of Amazon, which marks down books, pockets insane profits and impoverishes me and all my writer friends. Need I tell you? I’m not a billionaire. Meanwhile, Jeff Bezos has built a fortune of $215 billion, and it all began … with books! [Head-exploding emoji here.]

So it may surprise you to hear that, back in 2022, when I first saw the new Amazon warehouse rising next to Interstate 25 in Loveland, I was super excited. I realized that I, too, required two-hour drone delivery of toothpaste to save me an onerous five-minute drive to Safeway.

The 3.87 million square-foot building has kept its secrets for the last two years, sending zero blue vans to my house. And I need more stuff right now!

The building will open later this year. Or, you know, maybe next year. To check in on progress at Amazon’s “robotics fulfillment center” — nothing creepy about that name! — I drove to Loveland and and asked for a tour. The docent looked familiar, if somewhat … robotic.

RoboJeff informed me that the facility will provide upwards of 1,000 new jobs when it opens. Maybe you qualify? 

RoboJeff toured me around the building. The conveyor belts rely on classic computer wisdom.

On the second floor, I gained intel on their delivery tech. 

As an English major, I was glad for evidence that my skills are still in demand.

Security was especially tight in the penthouse. 

And I learned that my instant-delivery needs will soon be satisfied! 

RoboJeff wasn’t supposed to show me the basement, but he couldn’t help himself. He was so proud of the fruits of Amazon’s space program.